Vigilante
by Sexual Womble
Summary: A new case causes problems for the squad when it hits close to home... AO
1. Chapter 1

This is part of a longer story that I'm currently working on. Just thought I'd throw this first part out there to see if I should continue. So let me know what you think guys! I'm really apprehensive about this, I can never tell if anything is actually okay or completely pants! You judge!

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"Roll up, roll up dear colleagues, it was yet another eventful night." Detective John Munch walked purposefully into the squad room and headed to the evidence board. He fixed a photograph of a middle-aged white male to the evidence board to the right of two similar photographs. They each looked like every other guy their age that walked the street except that their pale skin, dull eyes and GSW gave away the fact that they were all dead. "Victim number three has just landed on Warner's table with the family jewels looking more liked spoiled meat that anything else."

"You have such a way with words Munch, who's the vic and what's the word on cause of death?" asked Elliot.

"Victim is as-yet unidentified - no wallet, no finger print match through AFIS. Warner says the M.O. is the same as the other two; crotch shot incapacitates them and a single shot to the middle of the forehead. She says its close range from the burn marks on the skin. He's been dead roughly five hours. Looks like our tenuous link between two homicides just got upgraded to a serial. And you guys said I was just paranoid."

"If he's only been dead for five hours then chances are that even if he has a wife and kids they ain't gonna miss his dead ass for a few more hours. I'll check each new missing person's report that matches our criteria. Any distinguishing marks? Tattoos or scars?" asked Fin

Munch flipped through the few scrawled notes he had made while Melinda Warner had briefed him. "Brown hair, brown eyes. Just over six foot, hundred and ninety pounds. Aged roughly forty to forty five years old. Wedding ring was still on his finger. No tatts but we have one scar along the left thigh; three inches long with a slight arch in it. That enough until Warner posts her official report?" Fin nodded slightly and made his way to the computer to begin trawling through the masses of missing person reports.

"What else have we got? Crime scene, forensics, witnesses?" asked Elliot, rubbing his tired eyes slowly. It was barely ten and it had already been a long day.

"No witnesses as of yet. Uniforms are canvassing but I'm not too optimistic. It was too early or very late depending on your perspective. Forensic guys are still there but they are having the same luck as they did at the first two crime scenes, which is to say none at all. Our perp knows what they are doing. The body was discovered in Central Park by an early morning jogger in some bushes. Vic had already been dead a few hours by then."

"We get anything from the jogger?" asked Olivia.

"Nope. The poor guy was a little shook up. Can't say I'd like to go out for my morning run and find some guy with his manhood blown off. There was no one else around. He saw a leg poking out of the bushes, thought it was some drunk passed out and went to make sure he was okay. Got a full view of Captain Castrated here for his troubles. Jogger's wife and doorman both confirm he left thirty minutes before the 911 call came in so he checks out." Munch finished, flipped his notepad closed and placed it back into his pocket.

"The bodies of Philip Richardson and Todd Davis were both found in relative proximity to their homes. Actually they were both in parks nearest to their home addresses." added Olivia as she quickly glanced over the reports of the other victims. "If we follow that pattern then this guy lives near Central Park. Maybe this guy has some money."

"Maybe. We've all been in this game long enough to know that people with money are missed a hell of a lot sooner than the rest of us." Elliots's statement left the other Detectives pondering the truth they all knew to be in those words. "Fin's got missing person's covered. What can we do until we get word from either forensics or the uniforms?"

Cragen chose that opportunity to lean out of his office and remind his Detectives that they each had plenty of paperwork to be doing while they waited for their phones to ring. With a collective groan Munch and Stabler slouched into their respective chairs, silently cursing Fin for grabbing the better end of the deal while Olivia refilled her coffee. Caffeine was essential to focus on paperwork this early in the morning. As she returned to her desk, the familiar click of heels reverberated from the hall. The sound was quickly followed by the ADA whose feet were making it.

Alex Cabot breezed into the squad room looking as awake and alert as ever - a facet that none of the SVU Detectives had yet to master despite many years of practice. She headed straight for Olivia's desk with a perturbed look on her face. Olivia looked up from her chair and blankly stared into the ADA's expectant eyes until a wave of recognition finally washed over her.

"I was meant to be in your office half an hour ago wasn't I?" She received a curt nod in reply. "I'm sorry. Our two possibly-linked murders became three. Looks like we've got a serial on our hands. I must have lost track of time."

Alex relented her steely stare and perched on the side of the desk. "I'll let it pass this time Detective but only because I think we've got your testimony perfected. I don't even know why this guy is bothering to plead not guilty. We have the testimony of three victims, four witnesses and video footage. He's not even attempting an insanity plea. This case is a waste of tax payer's money and a foregone conclusion." Olivia released a breath as the ADA's rant seemed to take her thoughts away from her forgetful colleague. "In the future I won't be so forgiving Detective."

"Understood and appreciated Counsellor."

"Anything I can do with this new case? I've had to come down here anyway; I might as well be of some use." She swept up the fresh coffee and took a small sip. Her trepidation lessened upon tasting that it was fresh. She took another mouthful before returning it to the Detective.

"Not unless you have suddenly gained some kind of Patricia Arquette style clairvoyance and can identify the third victim. We are at a standstill and stuck doing paperwork until we can get an ID."

Olivia pointed to the board behind Alex with a look of exasperation.

"While I hope you understand the importance of completing your paperwork correctly and in a timely fashion, I will attempt to channel my inner medium for you."

Alex's smirk gave Olivia the impression that she would be stuck to both her desk and her paperwork for a while. Alex stood slowly to inspect the board while Olivia returned to the form she had been completing. She was halfway through the page before she realized that Alex was still staring intently at the board. She pushed herself up and walked up behind the ADA.

"Alex?"

She snapped out of her haze and stared at the board, refusing to make eye contact with the Detective behind her. "Wallace" she mumbled out, quickly glancing around the room. The other Detectives remained thankfully oblivious to her. Olivia grabbed her forearm and led her to the spare seat beside her own. The Detective leant forward in her chair to get as much privacy as someone could get in the squad room.

"Explain" the Detective said simply.

"His name is Wallace. He's a big shot on the stock market, made his first million by the time he hit thirty. Not that he needed it - family money. Married with a daughter." Alex cleared her throat and the steely gaze returned to her face, the momentary lapse in her professional façade pushed away with only Olivia as witness that it had ever occurred at all.

"You sure?"

"Crescent-shaped scar on the left thigh." Alex glanced up long enough to see the look of recognition float across the Detective's face.

"Okay Arquette. Wallace you said? What's the first name?" Her fingers hovered above the keyboard of her computer.

"That's his first name." Olivia's fingers skimmed across the keyboard rapidly from years of practice. Her fingers stilled over the keys.

"Surname? How'd you know about the scar anyway?"

"The surname is Cabot and I know about the scar, Detective, because I'm the one that put it there." Olivia's fingers remained suspended over the keypad, unable to move as she looked up into the unwavering eyes of the woman in front of her.

*****

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	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the reviews guys. I'm really glad you like it! Unfortunately I'm going to be without the internet for a few weeks while I move. But that just means a good update when I get back.

Chapter 2

Olivia's mouth figuratively hit her desk but she managed to retain a professional exterior in front of the ADA.

"Counsellor, I'm…" Olivia tried to get something, anything, to come out to comfort the woman in front of her. The steely blue gaze and a raised eyebrow stopped her dead in her tracks. It was almost as if the Counselor was daring her to say something and suffer the repercussions, which Olivia imagined would be something along the lines of desk duty, coffee runs and more paperwork than the DMV saw in a year. The Detective knew better than to try her luck.

"If that is all, I am heading back to my office. I still have to complete my closing argument and meet Donnelly. I'll write down his home address and number to save you some time. It looks like I got you out of that paperwork after all. Goodbye Detective."

And just like that, Alex Cabot scribbled on Olivia's pad and breezed out of the station with as much composure as she had entered without uttering another word, leaving the Detective to stare after her retreating form.

A multitude of questions ran through her mind, with no answers being particularly forthcoming. How could Alex react like that? Actually, how could she not react at all? It might as well have being another unknown face in the growing sea of victims.

Olivia closed her eyes and took a breath. Releasing it slowly, she got up from her chair wondering why everyone thought taking a deep breath helped. Because it didn't. Not at all. Making her way to the evidence board she grabbed her fellow Detective's attention.

"Got an ID on Vic three. Fin can you run it through DMV just to confirm?" She managed to get out in a relatively calm voice; though she was pretty certain her expression looked like her mother's ghost had just walked in and asked her to lunch.

"Can do, what's the name" answered the fellow Detective without looking up from the screen in front of him.

"Wallace Cabot." The three men finally looked up at her with expectant eyes, but she didn't offer any explanation. Hell, she couldn't offer any explanation; Cabot hadn't given her one.

"Cabot as in ADA Cabot? Is that why she rushed outta here without even saying goodbye?" asked Elliot as he gazed at the exit the Counselor had used only moments before.

"She had a meeting to get to. We all know what Cabot is like, guys. She barely even blinked. She gave me an address. Elliot you wanna head over there with me? Someone has got to break the news."

Elliot nodded and began gathering his jacket while Olivia headed over to Fin's computer with her notepad. A picture very similar to the one currently pinned on their increasing line of victims flashed up on the screen after a few seconds.

"That definitely looks like our guy minus the bullet hole." Munch peered at the open notepad in Olivia's hand. "Match on the address too. You'll still need to get the wife in for an ID."

"No problem Munch. While we're gone could you two do a little digging? Criminal record, banking records, phone records. The usual stuff for now. Cabot doesn't seem too concerned but let's try not to bother her anyway."

"Didn't she say anything about the guy? I mean, he is her family. Not even she can be that cold" asked Fin. Olivia took objection to anyone other than herself bad mouthing her A.D.A.

"I think our dear Miss Cabot just got upgraded from Ice Princess to Ice Queen." added Munch before she had a chance to answer the previous question.

"Guy is married, one kid and a pretty important stock broker. Now you know what I know." Olivia told her fellow detectives, unable to maintain eye contact with any of them. "And let's not be too hasty calling her cold Fin. People deal in different ways; you should know that by now. This isn't another family member to deal with, this is Alex, our colleague. You guys would do well to remember that, yeah?" She added defensively, the guilt at her omission causing her to deflect attention away from the current situation as quickly as possible.

The Detective wasn't quite sure why but she kept the information about the origin of the deceased's scar to herself. She had a niggling feeling that sharing that little tidbit with the other detective's would lead them straight to Cabot's door as a possible suspect. The mere thought of Alex having every aspect of her life put under the SVU's microscope made Olivia's stomach churn. She would do anything for that not to happen, even if that meant withholding evidence from the squad. As she caught up with her partner leaving the office she almost managed to convince herself that it was female solidarity that made her protect the A.D.A. Almost.

"I know that look Liv, you not telling me something you should have? Now's your chance. You got a lead on this?" asked Elliot as he started to climb into the driver's seat.

"I got nothing El, I'm just thinking about Alex. She's probably pretty upset about all this and just didn't want to show it in front of the people she works with. Got to be a little uncomfortable, you know? It's not like any of us know her particularly well and now we are going to be up in her family's business? Now move your ass, who said you were driving?" she deflected before Elliot could question the uncertainty in her voice. It hadn't been a complete lie. She was thinking about Alex and her reaction, but nothing about it convinced her that the A.D.A. was in shock or felt awkward.

She recalled the glimpse she had caught. The flash of something in Alex's eyes before she got the façade back in place was just a brief glance, nothing much at all, but it worried Olivia. It worried her because what she saw definitely was not sadness of grief. It looked more like the look a perp got on their face when they had zero remorse for what they had done, like they took some sick pleasure in it. Yes, _that_ look definitely worried her.

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	3. Chapter 3

I'm back! You wouldn't believe the luck I have had trying to get internet service. Then when I did my computer, along with the stories on it, totally died. A new computer, new internet service and 3 weeks later here it is. So I have re-written this for anyone who has the patience of a saint and has waited. I've got the next chapter ready so let me know if there is anyone left to read it!

By nine o'clock that evening the Detectives were ready to give up for another day. Just like the previous two victims, Wallace Cabot had a spotless record. Not so much as a parking ticket, which considering he'd lived in New York his entire live was quite an achievement. They hadn't gotten much from the wife other than he was a good honest family man who didn't have any enemies that she was aware of. That's what they all said. He might not look so spotless once the SVU had finished with him.

"Olivia, I'm going to head out now. I don't think I can stand reading anymore of Wallace's riches to even more riches story. I know he's the victim here but I can only take so much of this guy." He shoved a stack of newspaper articles and statements from employees into a folder for dramatic effect. "No one can be this much of a golden boy."

Olivia silently nodded her agreement, but felt the need to tease him a little. "Not jealous are we El?"

"What's to be jealous of? Yeah he might have been this rich New York socialite but he still ended up with his manhood blown off in the middle of Central Park. I'm going home to spend a little time with Kathy and the kids. Maybe you should think about doing the same." Elliot said as he pushed some papers into a file and grabbed his jacket.

"You want me to go spend time with your wife and kids? No thanks El, too much of a crowd with your twelve children."

"You know partner that gets funnier every night." He grabbed his car keys from his desk and began to leave. "If you're going to stay here all night again, how about coming up with some new material partner? Actually why don't you go talk to our illusive ADA. You can make your googly eyes at her in her workplace instead of ours."

Olivia was about to protest but she couldn't quite get her mouth out of the 'oh' shape it was currently making. "And don't even try denying it Benson. You and your lady crush have a pleasant evening now." And with that Detective Stabler was out of the squad room and on his way home to his family, leaving Olivia to dwell on the case and how she was going to keep Alex out of it as much as humanly possible.

An hour later Olivia collected some more coffee, which was now more like tar, and began to think of anything to link these men together. Each one had a perfectly clean record, didn't socialize in the same circles, didn't even have a membership to the same gym. As the hours ticked by slowly Olivia started to wish she was in a cop show where this entire mess could have been over and done with in under an hour. She glanced at her watch and saw it was after midnight, causing a frustrated grumble to escape.

_Come on, come on. One of you guys has to have something in your past. People don't just go around blowing guy's equipment off for no reason. There has to be something that links the three of you together. _

After taking a look back through all previous employers with no success she tried a last ditch attempt at any kind of link by searching through all previous addresses to possibly link them to the same block, hell she would settle for the same area code at the minute. While that proved to be unsuccessful, she did come across something that posed a tenuous link between the three. Some of the previous addresses had shown up disturbance calls with no follow up and while there was no mention of any of the deceased's names on the reports, they did fit within the time scales of each of their time's spent living there.

_Of course, their names were never on any report so it wouldn't show up on their much for leaving Cabot out of this, eh? She's the only one I can even consider bothering at this time of night. Morning. Whatever it is. _

She did a date check into any medical records around that time and found what she needed. She sent the documents to the geriatric printer that was busy looking sorry for itself in the corner. Olivia printed the responding officer's report from Cabot's previous address and waited not quite so patiently for the prehistoric printer to finally finish the three documents. She knew they were in a recession but she could have written the damn thing out quicker than this machine was going. After a quick call to the DA's office to verify that ADA Cabot was still in her office, Olivia collected her files and headed out under the pretense of dropping some overdue paperwork to the attorney. There was no way she was getting any of those files any time soon. Not until this case was over at least.

_Maybe she won't be so quick to get me out of my paperwork duties next time _she thought wryly.

By the time she got to the A.D.A.'s office it was nearing one a.m. and Olivia felt a little worse for wear after the day she had had. She paused at the door for a moment, straightening her shirt unconsiously and worrying that she was going to hear something that she really didn't want to once she got inside.

_Suck it up Benson, Alex is probably going to feel a lot more unconfortable than you are. This is her personal life after all. Oh, and you lied to her about why you are here so you're already losing points. Stop talking to yourself and just get in there and get it over with. _

She knocked gently and poked her head around the door sheepishly.

"I wondered how long you were going to stand out there Detective." A puzzled look crossed Olivia's face. "I could see your shadow under the door and can only assume that you are nervous about whatever brought you here."

"Yup, you got it in one." Olivia forced herself to step inside and glanced around the room in the same way she had been doing for years. Observation was a good skill to have and right now it was telling her that Alex still looked as calm and collected as she had when she has breezed into the squadroom this morning with the intention of handing Olivia's ass to her. Nothing in her expression gave the idea that she was tense, but her hand was giving away the truth as the Detective noticed the gentle but rapid drumming of the attorney's fingers on her desk. Alex caught the glance and immediately stopped.

"You're not here to bring my paperwork are you?" She received a nod of confirmation. "So I guess you have ran out of all avenues of investigation and have come to question me about Wallace Cabot?"

"You got it again." Olivia finally made her way over to the desk and sat down opposite Alex. "I know this isn't an ideal situation but…"

"To be honest I was expecting you a lot earlier than this. I thought Stabler would have had you over here before lunch after what I told you. I'm surprised he has let you do this alone considering the run-ins we've had in the past." She said, refering to the quite public disagreements they had had over the degree of evidence needed to get a warrant.

"You were new to the squad, that was just growing pains. And for the record I haven't told Elliot or anyone else what you said to me this morning." Olivia received a puzzled look. "Well obviously I said that you had given me an I.D. but that's it. I didn't want to drag you into something that you didn't need to be in."

"But? I sense a 'but' coming on. You wouldn't be here at this ridiculous time if you had managed to find anything else. So I'm the last gasp attempt at info? Couldn't find anything on old spotless superman Cabot? " The resentment in her tone did not go unnoticed by the Detetive. "I thought out of everyone you would be able to find something, you are the best Detective I know." A disheartened look passed over her face and she threw the Olivia a weak smile that didn't quite reach eyes.

"I did find something. That's the problem. I just need you to tell me what it means." She sighed as she threw the report onto the desk in front of Alex.

Olivia saw the look of confusion cross Alex's face, which was quickly followed by panic as the realisation dawned on her. The Detective followed the woman's fingers as they gently passed over the dates on each document.

"Oh." Was all the attorney could get out.

"Yeah." Olivia kept her eyes on the moving fingers, unwilling to look at Alex in fear of seeing something she didn't want to.

"At least I was right. You are a good Detective." She was shaking her head gently with a pained smile on her face. "Maybe a little too good."


	4. Chapter 4

So this is the part where things get all dark and angsty for our lovely duo. That is the extent of my warning lol. Sorry! Thanks for all the reviews guys. Send up a prayer to the internet-provider Gods that my connection stays working from now on!

CHAPTER 4

"So how much have you managed to uncover from this? All guessing, I'm assuming. But knowing you, it's going to be accurate." Olivia wasn't completely unaware of the compliment from the usually stoic woman, but was determined not to let it distract her from the task at hand.

"Well we've got a domestic disturbance call to the residence of your mother. The officer noted that there was some swelling to her cheek but she claimed that she was moving furniture and was making quite a racket, hence the neighbours call to 911. She explained the facial injury as the result of her carelessness when moving a particularly heavy wardrobe and there was no reason to detain the officer any longer. She was alone in the house; your father was still at the office and you were away at college."

"I could have read that in the report Detective. I asked what made you think it was of any importance." Quipped Alex with a disgruntled tone.

"Nothing at first, until I realised that the date of the incident aligned with the time period that Wallace Cabot was living in the house." The lawyer's wince at the mention of her uncle's name did not go unnoticed. "I checked for anything around that date in his file and found a trip to the emergency room the next day. He had a stab wound, which he claimed had occurred during a fishing trip." She pointed to the second document on the desk but Alex didn't even glance at it. Her eyes were fixed on a point behind Olivia, not quite able to meet the Detective's eyes.

"Accident prone family I've got there, wouldn't you say?" Olivia was determined not to let Alex deflect any of this.

"Stop doing that Alex, just stop okay? He moved out of the house the next week, he did something to her didn't he? She must have told you, because I saw the look in your eyes at the station. You were glad he was dead, glad that he had suffered."

No denial was forthcoming. The attorney pushed her glasses on to the top of her head and rubbed at her eyes, the long day obviously starting to catch up with her. Olivia felt the need to reach out to her, like she would with any other family member of a victim. Something was stopping her though.

_If I touch her I'm not going to want to stop and I need to get to the bottom of this_

Alex kept her hand over her eyes, in silence except for some deep breaths, until the Detective spoke.

"Alex, if something did happen and your mother told you, you're both suspects now." She heard a sharp laugh come from the woman in front of her. "You need to trust me with this or I can't help you. I'll have to tell the squad what I found and the whole department will be in your business."

Alex got up and paced around the desk. Olivia turned in her chair to see the blonde working a rut into the carpet behind her.

"I'd like to see you question my mom." Olivia just gave her a puzzled look at the smile on her face. "She died a few weeks ago. So I guess you're down to one suspect."

It was then that the Detective saw the tears welling in Alex's eyes that she was trying to force away with the smile and before she knew what she was doing she was out of her chair with her arms engulfing the other woman.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Olivia mumbled into blonde hair

"SVU has not exactly been welcoming to me. I know that you all call me the Ice Princess." She said accusingly.

"I think you got upgraded to Queen this morning actually." Olivia interrupted, trying to lift the heaviness of the mood a little. Alex didn't even acknowledge it.

" I work my ass off for the victims, for the cases that you bring me and you all think nothing of inviting the other Detective's out for celebratory drinks. On a case that we've just won together." Alex pulled out of the embrace and Olivia didn't insult the woman by disagreeing with her statement. "You don't even wait until I've left the room to do it, you know? Do you get why I wouldn't tell you anything? Why would I tell anyone that my mother had died when I can't even get an invite for a drink?" The resentment in Alex's tone was noted and Olivia felt the sting of the words.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise. You should have said some.."

"Cabots do not beg for attention." She cut in with some bite in her words.

"It wouldn't be like that." She stopped and was pulling Alex back into a hug when she realised something. "You haven't even had a day off work have you? For the funeral, I mean. In fact I think you've actually been at work more if that's possible."

The reply that came from her shoulder was muffled and strained from the tears that were now working their way down her face but Olivia heard it nonetheless.

"He was at the funeral. I couldn't stand to look at him after what he had done."

It was the first form of confirmation that something had happened and Olivia released a breath that she didn't know she had been holding. Olivia untangled herself from Alex and led her back to the chair that Olivia had previously sat in. She knelt down in front of the blonde and took her hands, giving her a squeeze that she hoped would reassure her to continue. There was a shark intake of breath followed by a slow exhale before Alex continued.

"My mother and I promised that what happened was between us. My father doesn't know. We couldn't break his heart by telling him what his own brother had done to his family. So Wallace still got the invite to the house on holidays, tugging the clueless wife and kid along. We still had to smile and ask how the company was doing, call him Uncle Wallie. We still had to look at him and pretend to be one happy family. We still had to…" Alex began to sob, tears streaking down her face. She turned her head away, resolute to not let Olivia see her cry, trying to pull her hands out of the grasp of the Detective at her feet.

"Why?" was all Olivia could get out, refusing to let Alex's hands leave her own.

"Because that is what a Cabot does. They put on the façade of a perfect life until they start to believe it themselves."

"That doesn't work Alex, people see through it. The truth outs in the end."

"Yeah because all you guys in the squadroom saw through it and knew my mom had died." The sarcasm in her voice did not detract from the blow Olivia felt.

_I should have seen something. Even I go home every now and then, she just sleeps on that old couch. Nobody works that much unless they are trying to avoid something._

"He can't hurt your family anymore Alex and he can't hurt your mom. I'm sorry that she didn't get justice for what happened to her and I'm sorry that you've had to sit back knowing what he did to her." She trailed off when she heard the defeated sigh escape Alex's mouth.

"He never lay a hand on my mother, except for the fractured cheek bone."

"I don't understand. You just said…" Alex's finally looked into her eyes, the contact making her words stop in their tracks.

"It was a Friday. I came home to surprise my parents for the weekend. My dad would be at the office but I thought my mom would be home at least." Her eyes went to the ceiling, forcing the words out that she had never been able to say. " She had gone out for coffee with an old family friend. Cabots must keep their societal connections" she said in a mocking tone. "Only Uncle Wallie was home. He told me how I had grown into this beautiful woman that he didn't even recognise anymore. She should have been there but… My mom came home an hour later and found him on top of me on the couch."

Olivia pressed forward into the woman, cradling her gently but it didn't help. She couldn't seem to get enough to hold on to in their current position. Olivia pulled Alex up and guided her to the sofa that had so often acted as a bed to the ADA. As soon as they sat down Olivia pulled her back in. Alex resisted for a second before crumbling into the embrace.

"You're not the only one who has a reason to work in SVU, you know." she tried the joke but the tense laugh died in her throat. "She grabbed him and was screaming but I couldn't really make out the words. Everything was blurry and dark. I couldn't think until I saw him hit her. I grabbed something off the table and stabbed him and everything was black." The look in her eyes said she would do again in a heartbeat.

All the Detective could down was stroke Alex's hair and whisper that is was going to be alright. For the first time with a victim, she was at a loss as to what she should say. Because this wasn't a victim, this was her colleague, her friend, the person she loved and nothing she could think of to say would make it right.

"I begged him, you know? I begged and it just made him smile. " She managed to say through the strangled tears before she stopped trying.

She cried for what felt like hours before Olivia heard steadier breathes coming from her shoulder. She looked down at the puffy eyes and red nose, the cheeks stained from more tears than anyone should have to endure and wished Wallace Cabot was still alive so she could deal with him herself.

_How could anyone hurt her like this?_

She pulled a blanket from the back on the couch, spreading it over both of them as gently as possible. Alex frowned for a moment before burrowing herself into Olivia's shoulder and tightening the grip around her waist. It took Olivia another thirty minutes to drift off with only one line of thought running through her mind and she stroked her blonde hair under her hand.

_Fuck. This makes her the prime suspect and I can't honestly say that I'm sure she's innocent._


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, first off. You guys rock with your comments! I've never actually had the guts to post a longer story on here, but you guys are doing wonder for my self-esteem. Its really appreciated. I hope I'm managing to keep the characters as realistic as possible, apologies if I'm not, I'm trying though!

Chapter 5

Olivia woke to sunlight streaming through the blinds of Alex's office windows sometime the next morning. From the lack of noise coming from the usually bussling building she guessed it must be before eight. She tried to stretch before realising that the slender frame of the lawyer was still curled up tightly against her. She stared intently at the mass of blonde fanned out across her shoulder as the early morning conversation came rushing back to her like a flash of lightening.

_Oh God. What am I going to do? How can I ask her if she has an alibi without completely pissing her off. Her emotions are bound to be all over the place. She trusts me. If I fuck this up now, she's going to close up._

Before she had a chance to think up any kind of strategy she felt Alex begin to stir beside her, saw the rapid blinking of eyes adjusting to the light and then their eyes met. Olivia saw the smile start to form across the attorney's face as she snuggled back into the Detective's shoulder. But before the smile could reach her eyes Olivia felt her body go rigid as the memories of her confession came rushing back to her. Alex scrambled away from the couch in a tangle of arms and legs that contradicted her usually composed manner, putting as much room between herself and the Detective as possible in the modestly sized office.

Olivia released Alex from her hold as soon as she felt the resistance begin to arise, allowing the blonde to jump off the couch and begin pacing around the room, releasing ragged breaths. Olivia knew one of the golden rules with rape victims – you let them go when they want to you to. The amount of times she had seen some rookie cop trying to hug a rape victim, thinking offering them comfort was doing them the world of good when in reality the victim didn't want anyone touching them. They needed to be in control of the situation, because there was so much that they had been unable to control beforehand. So that is what Olivia allowed Alex to do as the woman began to silently pace, sending a wry prayer to the carpeting gods after the amount of wear it had taken in the last day while she waited for Alex to calm herself down.

Finally the gasping breaths slowed and Alex stilled by her desk, eyes on the ground as she tried to access how much damage she had done to herself.

_Could you have made yourself look like any more of a suspect Cabot? Jesus, you might as well have walked into the squadroom, announced how much you hated the bastard and told them you were glad he's dead. Idiot. Idiot!_ _I've sent people down on less than this so many times. _

Olivia took a few seconds to take in the appearance of the woman in front of her; tired eyes from too many nights on that couch, perched on the edge of her desk with her arms wrapped around herself in a protective stance. She looked poised for a quick getaway if anything startled her.

_Gentle, Benson. Just be really gentle._

"Hey." _Oh yeah, that was really smooth. _"Why don't you come sit down next to me and we can talk about this." She patted the sofa where Alex had spent the night. Apparently the gentle approach was not the correct one, which Olivia knew instantly when she saw the fire rising in the Ice Queen's eyes.

"Don't patronise me Detective, I'm a grown woman, not some child you have to tip toe around" she spat out bitterly.

_Oh great, I've been down graded from Olivia to Detective again. Excellent winning of trust there Liv. Fucking great._

"And don't treat me like another one of your fucking victims Olivia. I'm not a victim here. I'm not. I just… Oh God. Shit. I don't have an alibi and I told you too much and I've got to think about this. You need to leave. Right now." Olivia didn't move. "Get out Olivia, please!" she begged.

_I can't have her seeing me like this_

"I'm not leaving right now. No way. I get what's happening here Alex." She stood up and made her way slowly towards the desk. The blonde was still refusing to make any kind of eye contact other than with the apparently-interesting floor. Olivia settled for perching herself on the edge of the desk beside the Alex. She took a deep breath before moving her hand to rest over the other woman's, leaving her the opportunity to move away if she needed to. After a few seconds of strained silence where she was sure Alex would pull away, she continued. "You have lived with this for so long, never saying a word to anyone about it. You lost your mom and that has probably set a lot of emotions off in your head that you don't understand. It is okay that you're angry with him. It's okay that you aren't completely together all the time. I was starting to think you were too perfect anyway. Like robot perfect." She nudged Alex's shoulder gently. "Now someone else knows what happened to you. I know. That must make this scary for you and I'm sorry for that." She trailed off, unsure of what she could say. Her training had never had to extend to dealing with people she knew and it hoped it never would have to, but now she was lost as to how she could help this woman if she wouldn't talk to her.

"Telling you doesn't make it scary Olivia. It makes it real. And that's not scary, it's… It's terrifying" she finally forced out. "My mom was the one who protected me, who saved me. Who was going to protect me from him when she died? I was just so angry and," Olivia held her breath, fearing that Alex was about to confess. But the blonde only braced herself and took a calming breath. "I can't deal with this right now. I need to just, I don't know, not be here right now. I can't believe that bastard is still ruining my life after all these years. He's right where he belongs now, rotting in some hole."

Alex stormed out of her own office with her usual poise, leaving Olivia confused as to how she so easily inter-change between Alex and A.D.A. Cabot as she gathered up her belongings and headed back to the squad room.

_That did not go well at all. It's like she is trying to give me more ammunition to arrest her._

She entered the squad room just as the department was gathering around the evidence board to discuss any further developments. As she grabbed a seat near Elliot he leaned over and whispered in her ear "same clothes as yesterday partner."

She lets out an acknowledging grumble in reply and kept her eyes focus on the Captain.

"You finally get Cabot to…"

"Finish that sentence and you won't be making it to thirteen kids." she whispered menacingly, before adding a "Partner."

The both turned their attention back to the group, as Fin stood up to go over his new leads.

"Those light-dodgers in the lab think that our perp has some knowledge. Forensically I mean. There's no DNA, no trace, no nothing. It's like a ghost rolled up, did their business and evaporated into the great unknown. The thinking down there is that it's an inside job. " said Fin dejectedly, before adding " I can't say that disagree Cap. No regular perp is this clean."

_Oh this just gets better doesn't it? Why not just hang a big guilty neon sign over her head?_

"So, they think…"

" The term vigilante has been used." Chimed in Elliot.

"I've tried telling you guys that statistically speaking those in the criminal enforcement profession are more likely…" Munch trailed off with his latest conspiracy theory when the other three Detectives and Cragen stared at him.

"So we've got a rogue police officer or C.S.I. taking out unprosecuted offenders and cleaning up after themselves. Since they would have been SVU cases were they reported, I want you guys to look at anyone that has been in and out of this office in the last six months. If that doesn't throw anything up, you go deeper, understand?" Cragen turned and retreated back into his office.

While everyone else sprang into action around the office, Olivia remained planted in front of the evidence board. Elliot, realising that his partner hadn't started searching through documents at the lightening speed she usually used, strode back over to her.

"We got work to do Liv. I ain't carry you again" he joked, bumping her with his shoulder.

"I need to talk to you El" she mumbled, motioning him to follow her into the nearest vacant room.

"You ain't gonna confess to me are you Liv, because I gotta tell you that would suck. I'm way too old to be breaking in a new partner and," whatever witty remark he was going to come out with died in his throat when he saw the look on Olivia's face.

"Lawyer's know a lot about forensics, don't they El?" she said quietly. She couldn't believe she was contemplating breaking Alex's trust. No way, She couldn't do it. But Elliot was almost as good of a Detective as she was; he knew where that sentence was leading.

"You think Cabot's got something to do with this? Come on, she's a family member of a victim. Actually the only victim who happens to be clean. All the others have SVU written all over their history, so why would she want to…" the words died in his throat for a second time in as many minutes as he came to the same conclusion Olivia had the previous day.

"You gotta work on getting full sentences out El," she half-mumbled. "I haven't been completely honest with you about how much I know. I just, I can't believe I'm doing this. How can I be thinking how much I want to kiss her, but in the same thought that she's capable of," she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Just like Alex's confession, saying it aloud gave it substance and life. It made it real. She looked up, as if praying for an intervention, but getting nothing but greying ceiling tiles in desperate need of replacement.

"Liv? Please, if you know something, tell me. I don't want you paying for someone else's secret with your career."

_She's never going to forgive me._

"Okay. Okay." She uttered, resigned. "It started when she ID-ed Wallace Cabot, I guess."

By the time she had finished filling Elliot in, he was staring in utter disbelief and she felt like she had just betrayed Alex.

_Probably because you just did_


	6. Chapter 6

I'm not a very good updater. I'm sorry! I just hope that when I do get time to write, there are still people here to read it. You guys are great for all the feedback, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

Chapter 6

Olivia felt dirty. She had raced out of the squad room as soon as she had finished spilling Alex's secrets to Elliot and was now scrubbing at herself viciously in her shower. She scrubbed until her skin was raw but the feeling just wouldn't wash. Betrayal was one of those things that never really would leave until you were forgiven. She forced herself out of the shower stall and caught a glimpse of herself in the foggy mirror, giving it a quick swipe to remove the condensation. She forced her eyes up to meet her own reflection and stared intently at herself without the usual barriers she put up for the outside world.

_How can you stand here and worry about yourself? About how Alex is going to react to what you've done? _She silently asked her reflection. _You are such a coward, hoping that she never finds out, that another lead shows up before Elliot can spill. You'll still have it inside, the guilt in your eyes every time you look at her._

It was then that Olivia finally realised that despite the mountain of circumstantial evidence stacking up against Alex, it was just that; circumstantial. And when Olivia thought of the future, she didn't picture Alex in prison. She just saw a really pissed off attorney filled with anger at the only person to gain her trust since it was stolen from her years ago. A moment of clarity washed over Olivia, relieving some of the weight that the scalding shower could not, because now she knew that Alex was innocent. She was confused and unsure before, had panicked and confessed to Elliot, but when it came down to it she knew.

_There is no way Alex did this._

A small smile crept it's way onto her face as she dressed and sat herself at the kitchen table with some case files to browse over. With Alex's innocence as clear as day in her mind, she felt a renewed energy to search for the truth, to find a link that could make certain that nothing from Alex's past had to be revealed anymore than it had.

_Elliot will keep his word. He won't say anything until we are out of options._

She was two hours and three cups of coffee into her in-depth file search when she saw something, a name that kept showing up. Not exactly out of place, but too unlikely to be coincidental. Before she could follow her thought the buzzer rang, breaking her concentration for the first time.

"It's me Detective Benson. May I speak with you?" came Alex's voice quite formally across the telecom. Olivia buzzed her in without reply and waited at the open door for the attorney to appear. Alex was barely through the door before she began reeling off her speech that sounded a little like an opening argument to Olivia. Alex had obviously been thinking about this for the better part of the morning

"I wanted to apologise for running out on you before. As you can probably imagine, I am not use to being caught off guard. I suppose I am not particularly adept at dealing with situations like this. I just…" her words failed her, not for the first time in the last twenty four hours.

"Its okay Alex. I pushed. Maybe too hard and for that I am sorry, you know?" Olivia locked eyes with the woman in front of her.

"There is nothing for you to apologise for here Detective." Olivia internally cringed at herself, if only Alex knew. "I could have talked my way out of the situation if I wanted to. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how stubborn and relentless I can be when I feel the need."

"Definitely not." Added the Detective with a laugh, causing a smile to grace both sets of lips as thoughts of previous clashes filled their minds. Alex schooled her features before continuing.

"If it was Munch or Stabler or whoever, I'm certain I would have deflected their questions quite adeptly. But I trust you. God knows why because Cabot's are not a very trusting species by nature, but I do trust you Olivia. Keeping everything in for so long is just entirely" she couldn't find the word.

"Exhausting?" Olivia cut in, receiving a confirming nod in response.

"Exactly. And you do have this power in you. You always get people to talk about the most horrifying moments of their lives. Yet you manage to set them at ease, you set me at ease somehow. It has to come from here" she said lightly, placing her hand over Olivia's heart, noting with a raised eyebrow as the heartbeat beneath her fingertips speed up slightly.

"It's my job." She said dismissively, still focusing on Alex's palm on her skin.

"So Stabler, Tutuola? They can do that to? They just choose not to I suppose?" She notes the look in Olivia's eyes as she admits to the attorney's point. "You care just a little bit more than they do. I don't mean that it a bad way, they do care, but it's personal for you. I know I am not exactly viewed as the life and soul of the party, you said yourself they call me the Ice Queen now. They believe my residence within the SVU to be strictly political. No matter what they may think I do care. Just as much as you do; it is just as personal for me too."

"You shouldn't care what anyone in that squad room says about you Alex. You know the truth and that is enough." She clasped the hand from her chest between her own, and gave it a small squeeze to regain Alex's attention. The blonde's eyes had darted to the connection immediately and felt the jolt in her pulse that she was certain matched the one she had felt in Olivia moments earlier.

"I don't give a damn what they think of me, what they gossip about round the water cooler. But I do care about your perception of me. I care a lot." Their eyes met briefly before Alex's settled on the lips only inches away from her. The edge of her mouth lifted into a barely noticeable grin as she leaned forward.

"Alex." The Detective said warningly.

"This is the part where you shut up Olivia." She mumbled as she bridged the small gap between them. As soon as Alex's lips touched hers, Olivia gave in completely. Wrapping her free arm around Alex's back, she pulled her as close as possible but this time, she noted to herself, this was definitely not a comforting embrace.

When their bodies connected a renewed sense of urgency arose within Alex, as she began to pull at the Detective's clothes, impatient at the barrier between them, dying to feel those jolts whenever skin met skin. In return Olivia shoved the jacket off Alex's shoulders to a heap on the floor as they both battled for more contact. Their hands kept tangling and impeding the other's as they greedily tried to gain the upper hand without breaking their connection. Realising they weren't going to get anywhere like this, they laughed into the kiss, as Alex ceded control in an attempt to break the standstill.

Olivia pushed Alex backwards, looking for anything to help them gain a hold on their surroundings. They both felt the slight jar as the back of the couch connected with Alex, who took Olivia's momentary lapse as an opportunity to pull the Detective's sweater over her head, leaving her with a black vest.

"You wear too many layers Detective." She mumbled between kisses.

"This is New York. I don't get to sit around a nice warm office in my fancy suit all day Cabot." Olivia retorted playfully, pulling the attorney back to her, not wanting that mouth away from hers for long.

"Touché Detective." She smiled as she let her hands run over Olivia's bare shoulders.

"I think we're past 'Detective' here aren't we?" Before she waited for a reply she guided Alex over the small drop onto the couch, never breaking the contact between then. She was about to guide her lips back to the blonde's when she felt the body beneath her stiffen. She paused inches away from the lips beneath her. The blonde had her eyes scrunched closed and was tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth.

_What happened? I didn't land on her or hurt her. We just moved to the couch._

That was when Olivia realised; she was lying on top of Alex, practically pinning the blonde down. On a couch. She quickly pulled herself back, resting her weight on the heels of her feet.

"I… I'm sorry. Alex? Are you alright? I shouldn't have… I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry," the Detective rushed out, waving her arms around for emphasis. She continued rambling until a hand caught her by the wrist, focusing her attention back on Alex, who had pulled herself into a seated position.

"It's okay Olivia."

"No it's not. You're not okay. I should be more careful," said Olivia with a degree on panic in her voice

"I'm not going to break. You just caught me off guard again. You have a way of doing that to me." she said offhandedly.

"I'm sorry." Alex could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"I think it might be a good thing; keep me on my toes so to speak. That was just a slip. It will get easier, I promise." She leaned forward, guiding Olivia down onto the couch. "Maybe just for now though, I'm on top."

There lips connected slowly this time, testing the waters warily before gratefully feeling the smile on the each other's mouth.

"That your plan all along Cabot? Get me on the bottom?" The teasing was definitely fun, Olivia decided. Way better than all that pent up frustration overflowing into an office argument.

"Absolutely." She trailed her hands challengingly down the side of Olivia's torso and over the curve of her hips as Olivia's house phone began to ring from beside the couch. "Let the machine get it," she added before Olivia even had a chance to react.

"_Liv? It's Elliot. Your cell is off. We got another D.B. We got it covered, no need to come in." _

Olivia stiffened at the sound of her partner's voice. Alex pulled away, looking into anxious eyes of the woman below her questioningly. Olivia let out a calming exhale, thanking Elliot for not saying anything incriminating. Her relief came too soon though.

"_Just thought I'd tell you so you'd stop worrying about Cabot. Guy was murdered last night and even Cabot can't be confessing her secrets to you and killing some guy at the same time." _

Instead of the range of emotions she expected to flood the attorney's eyes, Olivia saw something worse. They went hard. Like stone. Alex backed off the couch quicker than the Detective had ever seen the other woman move, leaving a vacuum over Olivia.

"Alex, please don't," she grabbed at the other woman's hand as she scrambled off the couch after her, quickly have the hold shook off. She came to an abrupt halt as Alex bent down to retrieve her jacket.

"You think I murdered those men," she said plainly.

"I don't…"

"You might not now, but you did. Otherwise you wouldn't have told Elliot." She said daringly. "Say something Olivia, for Christ's sake and don't you dare lie to me." She got her answer when she stared into Olivia's eyes and they wouldn't, no couldn't, look back. "I trusted someone for the first time in… I trusted _you. _And now you've ruined it."

She walked out of the apartment without looking back.


End file.
